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Adventures of a stay-at-home, skeptical, homeschooling dad (etc.)


A conversation about bad apples

A bad appleApple Buyer: "I bought a bag of apples the other day and one of them was bad. I got really sick. I'm thinking of complaining to the company, and maybe warning others that sometimes apples can harm you."

Apple Defender: "If you'll care to notice there are like 10 other apples in that bag that are perfectly good! How dare you insult all the good ones just because of one bad one!"

Apple Buyer: "But I didn't…"

Apple Defender: "You strongly implied that apples can be a threat!"

Apple Buyer: "Well, they can, sometimes!"

Apple Defender: "Only a very small minority, and maybe the people who got sick should have been nicer to the apples."

Apple Buyer: "What?"

Apple Defender: "Just saying maybe you deserved to get sick because of your anti-apple attitude."

Apple Buyer: "That's ridiculous, since when does not being properly reverent to apples mean people should come to serious harm?"

Apple Defender: "Well, I've never gotten sick from an apple, and I think it's because I think apples are great."

Apple Buyer: "It could also be that the store in your wealthy neighborhood has better apples than the ones in my inner-city store. Besides, I like apples, good ones anyway. Can't we just get the bad ones removed?!"

Apple Defender: "No, not unless you happen catch the bad apples being unambiguously and atrociously evil on video, and then only sometimes."

Apple Buyer: "Wait, you're breaking the allegory!"

Apple Defender: "Sorry. We both stretched it a bit far."

Apple Buyer: "Yeah, it's not perfect."

Apple Defender: "Like, if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does that mean for the analogy?"

Apple Buyer: "Not sure. And does a Gala apple abuse its authority less than a Granny Smith, or more?"

Apple Defender: "We should end this now, it's really gotten away from us."

Apple Buyer: "Yeah, let's just kinda trail off here and hope no one notices…"