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Adventures of a stay-at-home, skeptical, homeschooling dad (etc.)


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When life gives you lemons…

Sometimes life gives you moldy lemons Down on your luck? As they say: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

First, take out the clean container, glass, sugar, ice, and clean drinking water that life gave you previously…

Life didn't give you those things?

Well, I guess you'll have to earn them, you slacker! It's true that many people, including me, your unsolicited adviser, didn't have to earn them, but you, apparently, do. So, to earn them, you'll need to get out there and work!

You can't get a well-paying job? You have old clothes and very little education?

That's probably because you dropped out of school to slack off and commit petty crimes!

Your local school was a crime-ridden hellhole full of apathetic students and even more apathetic teachers? And you had to leave even that when you were 12 to help support your family? Your father died of untreated hepatitis and your mother was shot by a drug dealer?

Sorry about that… but adversity makes us stronger! Quit feeling sorry for yourself! Go back to school and get an education!

Can't afford it?

Get out there and dig ditches!

Oh, you do?

I'm sure if you save up…

Barely scraping by, eh? Sister is in the hospital…

Shit, man. Uh, here's a buck: go buy some lemonade.

2014-03-03
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