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A solution to your problems

Down on your luck?

Things not going your way every single time?

Slightly inconvenienced every once in a while?

Well, have I got a product for you!

Try Selfishness™!

Selfishness™ is a great product for all your daily needs.

Did the light turn red before you got there? Aww, poor thing. I guess you'll have to wait…. unless you try Selfishness™! Why not just go on through? Those drivers in the other lanes can wait.

Need to turn left but you find yourself in the far-right lane? I guess you could go up a block and turn around… Or you could try Selfishness™ and turn left anyway! People will just move out of your way. Amazing!

Need to run in to get your coffee, but there's no close spot? You could park in a far spot and walk 30 seconds longer… Or you could use a little Selfishness™! Turn on your hazard lights and park wherever you want. Right in front of the entrance will work. Go ahead and block traffic! After all, you're only going to be in there a minute, unlike everyone else in the no-seating coffee shop.

Tell your (theoretical) friends all about Selfishness™, and try some today!

2014-09-20

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