Posted: Sun Oct 27 2002
Five New Religious Denominations Created

In an effort to simplify religious transactions, the US Faith Treasury has issued five new religions.

"Until now, keeping track of the value of religion was unnecessarily complicated," said Faith Treasury head Robert Johnson, "It always took a while to figure out how much, say, a Catholic was worth."

The new denominations are designed to ease the process of making religious change, an inexact process that previously consumed much time and effort.

"Say you walk into a bank with five Jehovah Witnesses," explains Johnson, "before, all we could do was give you a Lutheran, two Mormons, an Episcopalian, and call it even. Now, we can be exact and give you just one of our new denominations, a Fiveralian in this case."

Experts expect the public will initially be reluctant to use the new denominations, which include the Fiveralian, the Tenolic, and the Twentitarian, but eventually will accept them as their usefullness is proven.