An OnlineNewspaper from
Overland Park, Kansas
The OnlineNewspaper Gazette
"The stories are real. Only the names, facts and events have been changed."
quaap.com | Main Page | World | U.S. | Local | Business | Sci-tech | Investigative | Entertainment | Lifestyles | Sports | Interviews | Editorials
Posted: Sun Feb 10 2002
Martha Stewart To Turn Abandoned K-Marts Into Sweat Shops, Pornography Stores

In light of the recent announcement that K-Mart, the strong-hold of MarthaStewart's complete line of kitchen, bath, and bedroom products; has declaredbankruptcy, Stewart has announced plans to turn the soon-to-be abandonedstores into her own line of sweat shops to mass-produce pornography featuringher line of house-wares.

The decision, according to Stewart, was inspired byclose friend Kathy Lee Gifford, whose work camps in southeastern Asia madeher the envy of every other celebrity endorsing a product line.

"Kathy set the bar for slave produced clothing, I intend to surpass her markwith my line of adorable porn," said Stewart, "it's a good thing."


--Chris Famunda












 




The OnlineNewspaper Gazette.
All text © Copyright 2001-2004 Thamus.org, 2005 quaap.com.
This is a parody and satire site: it's fake. This site contains no real facts or information. If you think you found a fact, you are mistaken. Never believe anything you read in onlinenewspapers.
All non-public names are invented: Any resemblance to actual people may be considered "freaky", but is purely coincidental.*

If you are not at least 18, please try not to understand anything you read.

*Disclaimer © 2001-2002 Thamus.org, quaap.com.