Posted: Thu Oct 4 2001
Global Cutbacks Force Tightening Of Van Allen Belts

With economies slowing down all over the globe, the world's economic leaders announced the tightening of the radiation belts that surround our planet. "It's an extravagance that we simply can no longer afford,"

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Posted: Mon Oct 1 2001
49% Of Americans Want Arabs To Carry "Special IDs"

According to a recent Gallop Poll, 49% of Americans would support "Requiring Arabs, including those who are U.S. citizens, to carry a special ID" and 58% would support "Requiring Arabs, including those who are U.S. citizens, to undergo special, more intensive security checks before boarding airplanes in the United States"

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Posted: Mon Oct 1 2001
Reporter Has Brain Hemorrhage Trying To Link Story To WTC Attacks

News reporter Christy Flake of the Channel 78 News team in Chicago Illinois was admitted to a hospital after suffering a brain hemorrhage brought on by over exertion of the parietal lobe, which is the part of the brain responsible for finding connections between a single bad event and everything else.

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Posted: Tue Oct 2 2001
Reader Response For "ABBA Or Ace Of Base?"

I've never written to a newspaper before, but I'm so incensed I had to express my disdain! The Chris Famunda article "ABBA or Ace of Base?" clearly shows his lack of musical appreciation! Has he never heard "Afternoon Delight?" Why, the only song ever recorded that's better is Barry Manilow's "Mandy!"

- A Saddened Reader in Sweden .