Posted: Sun Oct 27 2002
Everybody's Just Too Sensitive

Not too long ago, you didn't have to be afraid of what words you used to describe people. You didn't have to worry about people getting offended if you said "mailman" instead of "mail carrier", or "man" instead of "person". You could call a female a "girl" without the National Organization for Women attacking you.

Full Text...

Posted: Mon Jul 22 2002
Article Is Nothing But Fart Joke

Readers of The OnlineNewspaper Gazette were shocked to see a July 22nd article titled Vin Diesel Puts Out Clouds Of Thick Black Smoke While Going Up Hills. Some readers objected to this, calling it a "fart joke," while others objected to the horrible pun in the concluding sentence. Not normally known to stoop to such low brow tactics as fart jokes, the editors of The OnlineNewspaper Gazette apparently ran out of ideas and went with an easy joke based on Diesel's name.

[The editors would like to point out that we have always been willing to stoop to fart jokes and bad puns: we don't even have to "stoop" anymore.] _

Posted: Sun Jun 30 2002
Reader Response: Lack Of Originality

Dear Sirs,
I am writing to express my displeasure with the shocking lack of originality shown in your publication. As a person that comes from a long line of highly creative and lateral thinkers I expect more out of my reading material.

Sincerely,
Junior McJohnsonson III, Jr. _

Posted: Sun Apr 14 2002
Editor Wishes He Could Come Up With Caption For Picture


Something about boobies? The sun will come out, tomorrow? "My hands! My hands! My beautiful hands!"? There's got to be something here. _

Posted: Sun Oct 28 2001
Editors Well Aware Of Irony Of So Many Anthrax Stories Appearing In Paper

The editors of the OnlineNewspaper Gazette, in an effort to prevent a flood of emails (none of which will probably contain anthrax) are aware that it is highly ironic for so many stories about anthrax to appear in this issue, since the subject of many of these articles is the preponderance of anthrax stories in the media. _
--Chris Famunda

Posted: Sun Oct 28 2001
Nation Gripped By Terrah

President Bush today announced that the US was in the midst of an act of terrah, threatening to mispronounce more words until those responsible were "got running and brought to justice." This reporter questions why these two steps are necessary. Wouldn't it be better to keep them where they're at so as to bring them to justice? I'm no expert on the military police, or the military, for that matter, but having seen police in action, both on Cops and in various movies, I'm pretty much sure that the only chance the police have to bring those responsible to justice is if they voluntarily turn themselves in. _
--Chris Famunda

Posted: Sun Oct 28 2001
Reporter Jealous Of Brokaw And Rather

In light of the recent anthrax letters sent to Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather, this reporter is envious of the two. Is the OnlineNewspaper Gazette not good enough for an anthrax letter? Is it because we're not on TV? To any domestic or international terrorists considerate enough to relieve us of our lack of anthrax containing letters, please note that emailed or faxed anthrax is not very effective. _
--Chris Famunda

Posted: Sat Oct 13 2001
WTC Trucker Denies Mafia Connection

Dear Editor:

This is to protest the vagrant lies being purported about the mafia being connected to the trucks that misappropriated a small portion of the World Trade Center debris for resale as souvenirs.

Full Text...

Posted: Sat Oct 13 2001
Every Other Country Sucks

There has been a lot of America bashing going on lately. Just a month ago, possible representatives from a Middle Eastern country ran some planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Also, China still probably hates us. Anyway, I think it's time to officially declare that every other country sucks.

Full Text...

Posted: Tue Oct 2 2001
Reader Response For "ABBA Or Ace Of Base?"

I've never written to a newspaper before, but I'm so incensed I had to express my disdain! The Chris Famunda article "ABBA or Ace of Base?" clearly shows his lack of musical appreciation! Has he never heard "Afternoon Delight?" Why, the only song ever recorded that's better is Barry Manilow's "Mandy!"

- A Saddened Reader in Sweden _

Posted: Thu Aug 9 2001
Making The Grade

I, like many people, am concerned about our education system. The way I see it, the current model is grossly unfair.

Full Text...

Posted: Sun Jul 22 2001
Reader Has Strong Views

Very useless lame website buddy. What a waste of time building it. -Jeremy C

Be sure to catch Jeremy's next article: Why I think people should not like ER. _

Posted: Mon Jul 9 2001
I'm Poor, I Admit That.

I'm poor, I admit that. But things are looking up: I've got a new part-time waitressing job, and my husband has been injured on the job and gets some disability pay. Add in the monthly welfare checks, and I say we're doing pretty well.

Full Text...