An OnlineNewspaper from Overland Park, Kansas "The stories are real. Only the names, facts and events have been changed." quaap.com | Main Page | World | U.S. | Local | Business | Sci-tech | Investigative | Entertainment | Lifestyles | Sports | Interviews | Editorials | ||
Next Issue: Immigrants living lazy on welfare, also taking all the good jobs Man refuses to let facts and evidence cloud his mind Axis of Evil to be expanded to include Democrats Italian kitchen destroyed by pasta/antipasta annihilation Man too busy masturbating to answer door CIA cancels X-Files Grass on other side of fence not nearly as green Current: China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic" Everybody's Just Too Sensitive Mediocre Musician Five New Religious Denominations Created No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident |
Sat May 25 2002
Posted: Sat May 25 2002 Interview With The Pope: 2000 Years And Still Infallible The OnlineNewspaper Gazette's exclusive interview with the Pope on the molestation issue. Full Text... Posted: Sat May 25 2002 New Book Links Obesity To Eating A Hell Of A Lot Of Food While many people believe the brand of shoes they wear or the flavor of toothpaste they use causes obesity, the real culprit is large servings of high calorie food. That's the message of a new book which examines the eating habits of Americans. The book, called Restaurant Confidential, studied the calorie and fat content of popular restaurant items like cheese fries, whipped cream drinks, and deep-fried onion plates. Full Text... Posted: Sat May 25 2002 Other Countries Nearly Empty Of African-Americans World census researchers have discovered an almost total lack of African-Americans outside of America. Full Text... Posted: Sat May 25 2002 Congress Creates New Hindsight Subcommittee To Investigate Missed 9-11 Warning Signs Congressional leaders have asked the newly created Hindsight subcommittee to investigate charges the FBI and the Whitehouse had enough information to predict the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. Full Text... Posted: Sat May 25 2002 Advertisers Forcing People To Buy Products They Don't Want The unstoppable mind control rays usually reserved to sell cigarettes and alcohol to minors are being considered by other industries. Full Text... Posted: Sat May 25 2002 Man Much More Afraid Of Bear Than Other Way Around Andy McClure, a resident of Fort Collins Colorado, was hiking inthe mountains when he stumbled across a large grizzly bear. "He wasno more than 30 feet away. It scared the shit out of me, but the bearjust looked at me and walked away." Witness confirm the bear "Didn't lookscared at all." . Posted: Sat May 25 2002 Local Man Offers Fertilization Despite a 100% miss rate, local resident Thomas Michaels is not yet ready to give up his signature pick-up line "You should be having my baby." Michaels points out that even though it's never worked before, that does not mean it never will. "I'll give it a few more tries," says Michaels. "I'm thinking of changing it to 'babies' instead of 'baby' to try to reel in the women looking for families." . Posted: Sat May 25 2002 Anti-Semitic Christian Group Learns Most Of Bible Written By Jews, Disbands A group which often spoke out for Jesus and against Jews has closed its doors after learning of the Bible's semitic origins. Hank Mason, the church's leader for the past 20 years, made the discovery late Tuesday evening after noticing all the Jewish names and towns listed thoughout both the old and new testaments. Witness report Mason said "oh shit" before calling his followers to tell them of the discovery and his decision to disband the group. . Tweet |
New Content Current:
Oct 27 2002Past Issues:
Sep 29 2002Sep 2 2002 Aug 11 2002 Jul 22 2002 Jun 30 2002 Jun 24 2002 May 29 2002 May 25 2002 May 19 2002 Apr 14 2002 Mar 10 2002 Feb 24 2002 Feb 10 2002 Jan 27 2002 Jan 14 2002 Dec 31 2001 Dec 2 2001 Nov 19 2001 Nov 4 2001 Oct 28 2001 Oct 13 2001 Oct 4 2001 Sep 26 2001 Sep 10 2001 Aug 23 2001 Aug 14 2001 Jul 31 2001 Jul 15 2001 June 2001 May 2001 Email this page quaap.com Privacy Contacts Schemes:
|
The OnlineNewspaper Gazette. All text © Copyright 2001-2004 Thamus.org, 2005 quaap.com. This is a parody and satire site: it's fake. This site contains no real facts or information. If you think you found a fact, you are mistaken. Never believe anything you read in onlinenewspapers. All non-public names are invented: Any resemblance to actual people may be considered "freaky", but is purely coincidental.* If you are not at least 18, please try not to understand anything you read. *Disclaimer © 2001-2002 Thamus.org, quaap.com. |