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Sat May 25 2002

Posted: Sat May 25 2002
Interview With The Pope: 2000 Years And Still Infallible

The OnlineNewspaper Gazette's exclusive interview with the Pope on the molestation issue.

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Posted: Sat May 25 2002
New Book Links Obesity To Eating A Hell Of A Lot Of Food

While many people believe the brand of shoes they wear or the flavor of toothpaste they use causes obesity, the real culprit is large servings of high calorie food.

That's the message of a new book which examines the eating habits of Americans. The book, called Restaurant Confidential, studied the calorie and fat content of popular restaurant items like cheese fries, whipped cream drinks, and deep-fried onion plates.

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Posted: Sat May 25 2002
Other Countries Nearly Empty Of African-Americans

World census researchers have discovered an almost total lack of African-Americans outside of America.

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Posted: Sat May 25 2002
Congress Creates New Hindsight Subcommittee To Investigate Missed 9-11 Warning Signs

Congressional leaders have asked the newly created Hindsight subcommittee to investigate charges the FBI and the Whitehouse had enough information to predict the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon.

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Posted: Sat May 25 2002
Advertisers Forcing People To Buy Products They Don't Want

The unstoppable mind control rays usually reserved to sell cigarettes and alcohol to minors are being considered by other industries.

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Posted: Sat May 25 2002
Man Much More Afraid Of Bear Than Other Way Around

Andy McClure, a resident of Fort Collins Colorado, was hiking inthe mountains when he stumbled across a large grizzly bear. "He wasno more than 30 feet away. It scared the shit out of me, but the bearjust looked at me and walked away." Witness confirm the bear "Didn't lookscared at all." .
 


Posted: Sat May 25 2002
Local Man Offers Fertilization

Despite a 100% miss rate, local resident Thomas Michaels is not yet ready to give up his signature pick-up line "You should be having my baby." Michaels points out that even though it's never worked before, that does not mean it never will. "I'll give it a few more tries," says Michaels. "I'm thinking of changing it to 'babies' instead of 'baby' to try to reel in the women looking for families." .
 


Posted: Sat May 25 2002
Anti-Semitic Christian Group Learns Most Of Bible Written By Jews, Disbands

A group which often spoke out for Jesus and against Jews has closed its doors after learning of the Bible's semitic origins. Hank Mason, the church's leader for the past 20 years, made the discovery late Tuesday evening after noticing all the Jewish names and towns listed thoughout both the old and new testaments. Witness report Mason said "oh shit" before calling his followers to tell them of the discovery and his decision to disband the group. .
 









 




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