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The OnlineNewspaper Gazette
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May 2001

Posted: Mon May 21 2001
Other Countries Teeming With Foreigners

The Reform Party recently announced that countries outside of the US have literally millions of foreigners, and warn we may be next.

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Posted: Wed May 23 2001
Illiteracy Rate Climbs Public Officials Concerninated


Recent figures released by the Education Department show almost 50 percent of high school graduates are functionally illiterate.

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Posted: Wed May 23 2001
Rapper Found Not To Be Gangsta After All

In a shocking report, an OnlineNewspaper reporter exposes popular 'gangsta' rapper's horrible secret.

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Posted: Mon May 21 2001
New Study Shows Apathetic People Don't Care.

A recent study shows that of those people who consider themselves to be "apathetic", almost 98 percent declined to answer the rest of the questions.

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Posted: Tue May 22 2001
Non-Famous Couple Gets Married And Divorced

A non-famous couple got married and then got divorced shortly thereafter. Their neighbors were taken by surprise.

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Posted: Wed May 23 2001
Columnist Runs Out Of Ideas
Uses Large Font, Repeated Words, To Fill Space

Recently, an online newspaper columnist was working on a column for the upcoming release of his online newspaper The OnlineNewspaper Gazette, when he apparently ran out of ideas, sources say.

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Posted: Wed May 30 2001
USDA Approves Hemlock

In accordance with the U.S. Department of Agriculture's new criteria, hemlock, which was formally available only with a label showing a skull and crossbones, can now be sold with the USDA's new organic label.

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Posted: Wed May 30 2001
New Plant Species Discovered In Africa
Creationist Group Responds "Cut it out."

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Posted: Fri May 25 2001
Church Hit By Tornado
Local Gay Man Blamed

Just minutes before Sunday morning services were to begin, a category 3 tornado slammed into St. Jude's Church killing four and injuring dozens.

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Posted: Wed May 30 2001
Study On Procrastination Goes Unfinished.

Results to be released later this month. .
 









 




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