Posted: Wed May 23 2001
Rapper Found Not To Be Gangsta After All

In a shocking report, an OnlineNewspaper reporter exposes popular 'gangsta' rapper's horrible secret.

Hip-Hop star 'Outlaw Nigga', is probably the number one rapper in the country right now. His last album, Kickin da Bitches, sold over 9 million copies. And the hit single, Drive By, was nominated by Napster users as "Pirated Song Of The Year".

Wanda Bee, a Hip-Hop fan in Boise, explains the fascination, "He's word. All da peeps'd pushin." Wanda's friend, Jeff, explained a little further, "When you hear his songs, you just know that he's speaking the truth. All my friends love him."

But rumours persist that 'Outlaw Nigga' has a secret. We went to Cambridge, Massachusetts to find out the truth. It turns out that 'Outlaw Nigga', AKA Alistair Montgomery, is not the Gangsta he protrays himself to be.

"He has an education," says Harvard Literature Professor Harvey Littleton, "in fact, he was my best student. He did some very nice Plutarch translations for me." When asked if Outlaw had any criminal tendencies or abused women in any way Littleton answered, "Not in the least, he was always the first to volunteer for campus security and even started a push to bring back the hall monitor and then volunteered for that. As far a women went, he was an honorary member of NOW and blushed at dirty jokes."

"Absolutly untrue," responds Outlaw, "these allegations are utterly baseless and fallacious, a mere fabrication... Oh, that is to say, er, 'Teach be illin niggaz', quite. I get along famously with the fairer sex, er, uh, I mean 'I bin slappin da bitches an tappin dat ass', and so forth."

Outlaw was in the news most recently for his domestic abuse charges, and points to this as an indication of his Gangsta-ness. But we found Helen Grady, juror in the trial. She states "Although the charges were eventually dismissed, I think she was guilty. I saw his face, you could tell she beat the hell out of him all the time."

Outlaw's label, Death To Whitey Records, declined an interview, but did provide us with a statement: "We expect our artists to meet certain standards, if these allegations turn out to be true, his contract will be nullified."

Allistair Montgomery's next CD, I say, I am really a criminal, is due out next month and is expected to do well.