The OnlineNewspaper Gazette / Mon Sep 2 2002: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Mon Sep 2 2002

Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002
New Group Hopes To Break Monopoly On Gravity Theory

A Georgia group calling itself Teachers for Equal Time has asked that stickers be placed in all new physics textbooks which note that mutual attraction and relativity are not the only theories available to explain gravity and should not be taken as fact.

Full Text...

Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002
Minister Unable To Convince Wife "Blessed Are The Cock Suckers" Is In The Bible

After several attempts over the weekend, minister Jack Wither, 37, found he was unable to convince his wife of the Biblical necessity of fellatio.

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Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002
Bush Announces Preemptive Strike To Remove Powell From Power

A widening rift between Secretary of State Colin Powell and the rest of the Bush Administration has prompted President Bush to call for a preemptive military strike against the outspoken cabinet member.

Full Text...

Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002
Jazz Fusion Band Explodes In A Shower Of Gamma Rays, High Energy Particles

Local experimental Jazz fusion band, Miles High Club, known for their unique combination of atmospheric jazz, classical music, hardcore rap, and sea shanties, may have inadvertently solved the world's energy needs.

Full Text...

Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002
Orange To Replace Lemon As Most Popular Useless Kitchen Fruit

Better than lemon?

Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002
Dennis Miller Hopes To Find New Pseudo-intellectual Genre

One of HBO's most popular shows, Dennis Miller Live, has aired its final episode.

Full Text...

Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002
2rd Anniversary 9/11 Show Already In The Works

In an attempt to scoop the other networks, NBC has begun production on a two-month-long series of shows recapping the events of September 11th and discussing how people are dealing with the tragedy after two years. NBC hopes to have their shows --tentatively named "Second Annual September 11th Spectacular!"-- ready for the the upcoming Christams season. _

Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002
Apparently There Won't Be A Baseball Strike

Baseball owners and players apparently reached a compromise and so there won't be a strike. According to a MLB spokesman, the settlement allows both players and owners to get a shitload of cash. Baseball fans are expected to keep paying everyone's salary by paying $40 a ticket and/or watching all 3 mindnumbing hours on TV. These fans are also expected to be surprised and outraged again next year when owners and players begin fighting over the billions of dollars fans have willingly given them. _

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Next Issue: MTV held some sort of awards show Chat room attendee censured for not abbreviating every word Nostalgia won't be as bad in the future Local man discovers "Fun for the whole family" means "No boobies" Christian rock band writes crappy music for God Report: There may be up to 5 real women on the internet One fat overpaid sports guy calls another fat overpaid sports guy fat Lifetime channel rejects offer to buy The View: "too girlie" This whole "working thing" looking less and less attractive to newpaper Editor Current: China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic" Everybody's Just Too Sensitive Mediocre Musician Five New Religious Denominations Created No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident	Mon Sep 2 2002 Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002 New Group Hopes To Break Monopoly On Gravity Theory A Georgia group calling itself Teachers for Equal Time has asked that stickers be placed in all new physics textbooks which note that mutual attraction and relativity are not the only theories available to explain gravity and should not be taken as fact. Full Text... Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002 Minister Unable To Convince Wife "Blessed Are The Cock Suckers" Is In The Bible After several attempts over the weekend, minister Jack Wither, 37, found he was unable to convince his wife of the Biblical necessity of fellatio. Full Text... Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002 Bush Announces Preemptive Strike To Remove Powell From Power A widening rift between Secretary of State Colin Powell and the rest of the Bush Administration has prompted President Bush to call for a preemptive military strike against the outspoken cabinet member. Full Text... Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002 Jazz Fusion Band Explodes In A Shower Of Gamma Rays, High Energy Particles Local experimental Jazz fusion band, Miles High Club, known for their unique combination of atmospheric jazz, classical music, hardcore rap, and sea shanties, may have inadvertently solved the world's energy needs. Full Text... Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002 Orange To Replace Lemon As Most Popular Useless Kitchen Fruit Better than lemon? _ Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002 Dennis Miller Hopes To Find New Pseudo-intellectual Genre One of HBO's most popular shows, Dennis Miller Live, has aired its final episode. Full Text... Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002 2rd Anniversary 9/11 Show Already In The Works In an attempt to scoop the other networks, NBC has begun production on a two-month-long series of shows recapping the events of September 11th and discussing how people are dealing with the tragedy after two years. NBC hopes to have their shows --tentatively named "Second Annual September 11th Spectacular!"-- ready for the the upcoming Christams season. _ Posted: Mon Sep 2 2002 Apparently There Won't Be A Baseball Strike Baseball owners and players apparently reached a compromise and so there won't be a strike. According to a MLB spokesman, the settlement allows both players and owners to get a shitload of cash. Baseball fans are expected to keep paying everyone's salary by paying $40 a ticket and/or watching all 3 mindnumbing hours on TV. These fans are also expected to be surprised and outraged again next year when owners and players begin fighting over the billions of dollars fans have willingly given them. _ Tweet	New Content Current: Oct 27 2002 Past Issues: Sep 29 2002 Sep 2 2002 Aug 11 2002 Jul 22 2002 Jun 30 2002 Jun 24 2002 May 29 2002 May 25 2002 May 19 2002 Apr 14 2002 Mar 10 2002 Feb 24 2002 Feb 10 2002 Jan 27 2002 Jan 14 2002 Dec 31 2001 Dec 2 2001 Nov 19 2001 Nov 4 2001 Oct 28 2001 Oct 13 2001 Oct 4 2001 Sep 26 2001 Sep 10 2001 Aug 23 2001 Aug 14 2001 Jul 31 2001 Jul 15 2001 June 2001 May 2001 Email this page quaap.com Privacy Contacts Schemes: Classic: B&W: Blue: DarkBlue: Red: DarkRed: Green: DarkGreen: Violet: DarkViolet:
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