The OnlineNewspaper Gazette / Sun Feb 24 2002: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Sun Feb 24 2002

Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002
13 Year Old Boy Sentenced In Priest Defrocking Scandal

A local boy who has come to symbolize the scandal surrounding the recent round of priest defrockings was sentenced to 20 years in prison.

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Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002
Police Misapprehend Suspect

A suspect wanted in several robberies has been misapprehended by police. Police had been looking for a white male approximately 5'10" in height and between the ages of 18 and 25; the suspect captured was a midget retiree from Nigeria. A police spokesman was later heard to say "Sorry, my bad." .

Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002
Fox Making Reporter's Job Way To Easy

Making fun of Fox has become a perennial favorite among parody and comedy writers, but recent seasons have some comedians up in arms.

"It's like they're not even trying anymore," says local satire writer Phillip Matanka, "It used to be fun making fun of the When Animals Attack type shows, but now we've got The Glutton Bowl... It's just not even worth my time." .

Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002
No Story Written For Self-Explanatory Headline

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Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002
Curling Invented Just To Piss Off Hockey Fans

The increasing popularity of the Scottish sport of curling and it subsequent introduction to the winter Olympics has many fans of more traditional sports upset. It now seems that this was the plan all along.

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Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002
Fat Man Glad Fatter Man Works In Same Office

In response to friend's and family's concerns about his increasing weight, local office worker Jim Davis began pointing out the even larger weight problem of another coworker. "I'm not nearly as fat as him," said Davis, "I'm only 40 or 50 pounds overweight, he's got to weigh at least 350, if not more." Davis used a similar method to deal with his pack a day smoking habit, saying "he smokes way more than I do." .

Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002
Jesus Thanked For Fixing Code

It was just after 5:30 PM when Bob Smith* finally finished his C program. He had been struggling with an endless loop that had stymied all attempts to be stopped.

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Posted: Sun Feb 17 2002
'Homosexuality Is Evil' Says Alabama Supreme Court

Chief Justice Roy Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court has ruled that, because of her evil and immoral homosexuality, an Alabama woman cannot have custody of her three children.

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Next Issue: Sensible plan rejected because it was not crazy enough to work Army of One gets ass kicked in bar fight Bush meets with Chinese leaders, asks to see General Tso Morning labeled: Worst Fucking Morning of 2002 Local man worried his prostate is too small Tom Clancey still pretending he know things about war Week-long vacation spent playing video games, masturbating Current: China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic" Everybody's Just Too Sensitive Mediocre Musician Five New Religious Denominations Created No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident	Sun Feb 24 2002 Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002 13 Year Old Boy Sentenced In Priest Defrocking Scandal A local boy who has come to symbolize the scandal surrounding the recent round of priest defrockings was sentenced to 20 years in prison. Full Text... Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002 Police Misapprehend Suspect A suspect wanted in several robberies has been misapprehended by police. Police had been looking for a white male approximately 5'10" in height and between the ages of 18 and 25; the suspect captured was a midget retiree from Nigeria. A police spokesman was later heard to say "Sorry, my bad." . Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002 Fox Making Reporter's Job Way To Easy Making fun of Fox has become a perennial favorite among parody and comedy writers, but recent seasons have some comedians up in arms. "It's like they're not even trying anymore," says local satire writer Phillip Matanka, "It used to be fun making fun of the When Animals Attack type shows, but now we've got The Glutton Bowl... It's just not even worth my time." . Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002 No Story Written For Self-Explanatory Headline . Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002 Curling Invented Just To Piss Off Hockey Fans The increasing popularity of the Scottish sport of curling and it subsequent introduction to the winter Olympics has many fans of more traditional sports upset. It now seems that this was the plan all along. Full Text... Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002 Fat Man Glad Fatter Man Works In Same Office In response to friend's and family's concerns about his increasing weight, local office worker Jim Davis began pointing out the even larger weight problem of another coworker. "I'm not nearly as fat as him," said Davis, "I'm only 40 or 50 pounds overweight, he's got to weigh at least 350, if not more." Davis used a similar method to deal with his pack a day smoking habit, saying "he smokes way more than I do." . Posted: Sun Feb 24 2002 Jesus Thanked For Fixing Code It was just after 5:30 PM when Bob Smith* finally finished his C program. He had been struggling with an endless loop that had stymied all attempts to be stopped. Full Text... Posted: Sun Feb 17 2002 'Homosexuality Is Evil' Says Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court has ruled that, because of her evil and immoral homosexuality, an Alabama woman cannot have custody of her three children. Full Text... Tweet	New Content Current: Oct 27 2002 Past Issues: Sep 29 2002 Sep 2 2002 Aug 11 2002 Jul 22 2002 Jun 30 2002 Jun 24 2002 May 29 2002 May 25 2002 May 19 2002 Apr 14 2002 Mar 10 2002 Feb 24 2002 Feb 10 2002 Jan 27 2002 Jan 14 2002 Dec 31 2001 Dec 2 2001 Nov 19 2001 Nov 4 2001 Oct 28 2001 Oct 13 2001 Oct 4 2001 Sep 26 2001 Sep 10 2001 Aug 23 2001 Aug 14 2001 Jul 31 2001 Jul 15 2001 June 2001 May 2001 Email this page quaap.com Privacy Contacts Schemes: Classic: B&W: Blue: DarkBlue: Red: DarkRed: Green: DarkGreen: Violet: DarkViolet:
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