USDA Approves Hemlock: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Posted: Wed May 30 2001
USDA Approves Hemlock

In accordance with the U.S. Department of Agriculture's new criteria, hemlock, which was formally available only with a label showing a skull and crossbones, can now be sold with the USDA's new organic label.

SuiCo, the world's leading manufacturer of hemlock, children's fruit juice and other poisons, was pleased by the decision, "We have a long history of producing our products naturally," said SuiCo chairman Robert Jackson, "Not one of our products use genetically-modified or pesticide-treated ingredients. I'm quite proud of that and I'm glad we can finaly get some recognition."

Pleasantness Inc, makers of grain alcohol, tobacco, and hotdogs, was proud to stamp its products with the organic label, "All our products are 100% organic. Can other producers claim that? There are companies out there producing harmful products! Tobacco treated with pesticides or 190 proof alcohol made with genetically-modified potatoes! Who knows what that could do to you."

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