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Immigrants living lazy on welfare, also taking all the good jobs
Man refuses to let facts and evidence cloud his mind
Axis of Evil to be expanded to include Democrats
Italian kitchen destroyed by pasta/antipasta annihilation
Man too busy masturbating to answer door
CIA cancels X-Files
Grass on other side of fence not nearly as green
Current:
China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges
Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion
Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic"
Everybody's Just Too Sensitive
Mediocre Musician
Five New Religious Denominations Created
No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet
Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident
Posted: Sat May 25 2002
Local Man Offers Fertilization
Despite a 100% miss rate, local resident Thomas Michaels is not yet ready to give up his signature pick-up line "You should be having my baby." Michaels points out that even though it's never worked before, that does not mean it never will. "I'll give it a few more tries," says Michaels. "I'm thinking of changing it to 'babies' instead of 'baby' to try to reel in the women looking for families."
Local Man Offers Fertilization
Despite a 100% miss rate, local resident Thomas Michaels is not yet ready to give up his signature pick-up line "You should be having my baby." Michaels points out that even though it's never worked before, that does not mean it never will. "I'll give it a few more tries," says Michaels. "I'm thinking of changing it to 'babies' instead of 'baby' to try to reel in the women looking for families."
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