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Posted: Thu Oct 4 2001
Global Cutbacks Force Tightening Of Van Allen Belts

With economies slowing down all over the globe, the world's economic leaders announced the tightening of the radiation belts that surround our planet.

"It's an extravagance that we simply can no longer afford,"

announced Martin Belinga-Eboutou, the head of the United Nations Economic and Social Council, "Due to sluggish world economies, we have to reprioritize our resource allocations. The belts are nice, but they are not essential."

The Van Allen Belts, constructed by the US in 1958 during the height of the post-WWII boom, have become a drain on increasingly tight budgets. Though some leaders have called for the outright removal of the belts, Belinga-Eboutou feels a reduction is all that is needed at the current time, "I feel a reduction is all that is needed at this time."

A similar event occurred in 1999 when the tightening of the Tim Allen Belts resulted in the cancellation of Home Improvement.














 




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