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Dick Clark cut in half, rings counted
Local man's application for a 'whoop whoop' rejected
Supermodel's secret identity learned by arch-enemy
Johnny Walker arrested for treason, Jack Daniels still at large
Asian NAACP Chapter To Hold Black Thai Event
Man secretly hopes little kid shoots eye out
An angry George Carlin seen chasing kids off lawn
Local man wins Bible thumping contest
Current:
China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges
Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion
Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic"
Everybody's Just Too Sensitive
Mediocre Musician
Five New Religious Denominations Created
No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet
Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident
Posted: Mon Dec 31 2001
Economist Is The "In" Profession
Former Mechanic turned Economist John Farrell recently received his mail-order Economics degree and says things are looking up. “Oh, this is great!” reports the 47-year-old. “Did you know I don't actually have to know anything? With everyone panicking about the economy and their future, this job is a piece of cake! Just throw out a few 'Don't sell now, Save your money, Bonds are looking better, and Try Always Save macaroni and cheese, and people think you're a genius.” Asked what his advice would be when the economy does start to turn around, Farrell quickly stated he's hanging onto his Dodge repair manuals.
--Suzanne Fontannadanna
Economist Is The "In" Profession
Former Mechanic turned Economist John Farrell recently received his mail-order Economics degree and says things are looking up. “Oh, this is great!” reports the 47-year-old. “Did you know I don't actually have to know anything? With everyone panicking about the economy and their future, this job is a piece of cake! Just throw out a few 'Don't sell now, Save your money, Bonds are looking better, and Try Always Save macaroni and cheese, and people think you're a genius.” Asked what his advice would be when the economy does start to turn around, Farrell quickly stated he's hanging onto his Dodge repair manuals.
--Suzanne Fontannadanna
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