HYMEN Splits, Stockholder Blamed: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Posted: Mon Nov 19 2001
HYMEN Splits, Stockholder Blamed

Stockholders the world over were shocked yesterday when the telecommunications giant HYMEN was divided in two, raising suspicions among shareholders as to the guilty party. "I have invested with HYMEN for close to 15 years, now that it is no longer one, pure company, I don't think I'll stay with them," says one noticeably agitated investor.

HYMEN is composed of two main product divisions, which, over the years, have separated markedly in their clientele and marketing strategies. One division produces cable modems and offers high speed internet access while the other manufactures vibrators.

The split occurred three weeks ago when the stockholder (who asked us not to print his name, although we can tell you it starts with a "J") allegedly had late night meetings with both of the parties and seduced them into the split. HYMEN's parent company threatens legal action against the stockholder unless a union of the two occurs.

--Chris Famunda

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