Posted: Sun Nov 4 2001
Bartenders, D.A.R.E. Join Forces

In an unprecedented joint venture, the American Bartending Association has joined up with D.A.R.E to help end drug use in America.

Larry Wallis, who heads up the Bartending Association, has wanted to form an alliance with the anti-drug group Project DARE for many years, "I feel the current plan is a good start towards my dream of a drug free America. I hope future venture with other anti-drug groups will do even more to realize that dream."

D.A.R.E., which we're told stands for something starting with "Drug", was started in the late 1980s when it was discovered a growing percentage of teenagers were trying marijuana and avoiding the usual teenage activities like helping the elderly and drinking beer.

While nothing has been finalized, the new anti-drug/pro-alcohol association has already spawned several new slogans, catch phrases, t-shirts, and bumper stickers to help teens fight peer pressure from their pot-head friends. The most potent slogans include: "Just say no to illegal drugs", "D.A.R.E your children to stick with beer", and, what officials consider the best to date, "When you get a hankerin' for pot, why not try a whiskey instead?"

Also planned is a series of Public Service Announcement (PSA) commercials which visually demonstrate, with the help of smashed eggs, what drugs will do to your brain, and how 150 proof vodka will actually strengthen the shell.

Wallis hopes the group's efforts will help show the dangers of marijuana, which include a lack of motivation, and an increased occurrence of unexplained Cheetos stains.