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Next Issue: Caribou stealing oil from wilderness area. Mad Magazine changes tactics: will no longer run jokes into the ground. Non-profit organization accidently achieves record earnings Environmentalist gets lost in jungle, says "Nature sucks." Antique musical instrument store hit in recent riots, luted. Other people's puns aren't as funny as your own. Man shows Microsoft is a monopoly by buying nothing but Linux and Macintosh products. Homophobia is really just lactose intolerence, say experts. Current: China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic" Everybody's Just Too Sensitive Mediocre Musician Five New Religious Denominations Created No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident |
Posted: Thu Aug 9 2001
Shoe Sues Khaki Over Ownership Of Sale Misuse of apostrophe puts Shoe on rampage In an unexpected move today, long silent Shoe spoke up about some apparent violations of his alleged ownership of "sale". "If you look back in history, it's easy to see that I've got a long-standing tradition of being the one associated with sale, someone mentions sale, and the first thing you think of is 'shoe,' then along comes Khaki, and the whole system goes straight to hell," said Shoe. Shoe is referring to upstart Khaki, who trumpets the phrase "Khaki's on sale", thus moving in on Shoe's sole ownership of sale. Seemingly to add insult to injury, Khaki is rapidly also laying claim to "1/2 off" and "priced to move," in a blatant attempt to secure a monopoly. "Khaki won't stop with 'sale', so I need to make an example out of him. I did it to Bra and Oreo. Khaki, you better watch out, 'cause you're next!" --Chris Famunda Tweet |
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