Santa Claus Wants Spotlight Back: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Posted: Mon Jan 14 2002
Santa Claus Wants Spotlight Back

The jolly old man isn't so jolly. In fact, he seems to be downright jealous. It seems he's gone the way of Condit and bellbottoms for the second time, and he's not happy about it.

"What happened? I just don't understand it! A month ago I had them eating out of my hand. I was everywhere � TV, newspapers, magazines, movies... It's like everyone's converted to Jehovah's Witness overnight!"

Now children pay no heed to "Santa is watching" warnings, while they play happily away with their dolls and computer games.

"I just hope this is a cycle of some sort," added Claus. "I can recall some times when my popularity has ebbed in the past. I should probably chart that sometime."

--Suzanne Fontannadanna

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Next Issue: German teen shunned by peers for "acting Norwegian" Martha Stewart's vagina found to double as cozy little knick-knack shelf Helicopter takes rotor off, waves it around like a shirt. Stupidity to replace greed as root of all evil Race differences found to be rich source of comedy Current: China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic" Everybody's Just Too Sensitive Mediocre Musician Five New Religious Denominations Created No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident	Posted: Mon Jan 14 2002 Santa Claus Wants Spotlight Back The jolly old man isn't so jolly. In fact, he seems to be downright jealous. It seems he's gone the way of Condit and bellbottoms for the second time, and he's not happy about it. "What happened? I just don't understand it! A month ago I had them eating out of my hand. I was everywhere � TV, newspapers, magazines, movies... It's like everyone's converted to Jehovah's Witness overnight!" Now children pay no heed to "Santa is watching" warnings, while they play happily away with their dolls and computer games. "I just hope this is a cycle of some sort," added Claus. "I can recall some times when my popularity has ebbed in the past. I should probably chart that sometime." --Suzanne Fontannadanna Tweet	New Content Current: Oct 27 2002 Past Issues: Sep 29 2002 Sep 2 2002 Aug 11 2002 Jul 22 2002 Jun 30 2002 Jun 24 2002 May 29 2002 May 25 2002 May 19 2002 Apr 14 2002 Mar 10 2002 Feb 24 2002 Feb 10 2002 Jan 27 2002 Jan 14 2002 Dec 31 2001 Dec 2 2001 Nov 19 2001 Nov 4 2001 Oct 28 2001 Oct 13 2001 Oct 4 2001 Sep 26 2001 Sep 10 2001 Aug 23 2001 Aug 14 2001 Jul 31 2001 Jul 15 2001 June 2001 May 2001 Email this page quaap.com Privacy Contacts Schemes: Classic: B&W: Blue: DarkBlue: Red: DarkRed: Green: DarkGreen: Violet: DarkViolet:
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