Posted: Mon Dec 31 2001
TheTruth.com Researchers Make Shocking Discovery

Researchers working at TheTruth.com's 'Center For Figuring Stuff Out' recently made an astounding discovery: Smoking is bad for you.

"Most people don't know it," comments head Figurer-outer Mike Sherlock, "but those things are really dangerous!"

For as long as anyone can remember, tobacco has been assumed to be a safe, fun-for-the-whole-family product, but all this changed when TheTruth.com researchers found one vital piece of the puzzle: the warnings on the side of the box, "It turns out that the evidence was right there, just waiting to be discovered," says a beaming Sherlock, "I don't know how everybody else overlooked this damning bit of evidence for so long."

Now that the cigarette/death link has been established, the researchers are considering other lines of inquiry, such as a possible link between eating and weight-gain, "we're planning on looking into this whole 'fast food' thing: I don't think it's as healthy as everybody thinks it is."