Posted: Mon Dec 31 2001
Released Detainee Doesn't Hold Grudge

Mary Katherine Holtsmeier was released from a war-on-terror detention center today. She and her kids exchanged loving hugs. Then she sat down for an interview with us. She has forgiven her country for holding her. It was, she says, all for the greater good, as far as her captors knew. It just took a while for the government investigators to get around to her.

What Mary Katherine knew all along was that she would ultimately be cleared. Unfortunately, her employer didn't know that, and now she has no job. Her husband has also abandoned her.

But why would a 45-year-old mother of 3, para-legal, and food pantry volunteer be detained anyway? Well, as it turns out, all fingers point to Sue Ellen Ratliff. That's right, this entire episode comes down to a cat-fight.

It seems that Sue Ellen was upset when Mary Katherine's 3-layer chocolate cake beat out her lemon chiffon at the bake-a-rama in late August. Not to mention that Sue Ellen was extremely jealous of Mary Katherine's cute figure and adoring husband. So, when the chance came up to turn her in as a sleeper agent for Al Qaeda, Sue Ellen knew what she had to do. She pointed out to authorities that Mary Katherine read spy novels and flaunted her Devil's food cake. The posters of Osama and the chemistry books she allegedly planted didn't hurt either. The FBI moved in shortly after the 9/11 attacks and Mary Katherine was incarcerated for almost 2 months.

Now her soon-to-be-ex-husband has moved in with Sue Ellen, and Mary Katherine is a client at the food pantry where she once looked disappointedly down her nose at the people who came in. Still, she doesn't bear a grudge against the government. “If we're not willing to give up a few rights for the security of our country, what kind of country would this be?”


--Suzanne Fontannadanna