Woman Dealing With Husband's Disorder One Day At A Time: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Posted: Sun Apr 14 2002
Woman Dealing With Husband's Disorder One Day At A Time

Eddie and Margaret Jones have been married for the last twenty years, but a disorder caused by recent world developments has strained a once happy relationship.

"It all started with the war in Afghanistan," says Margaret. "Since then, sex with Eddie has gotten a little weird."

Though Eddie's case is severe, experts report occurrences similar to Eddie's all over the country, and call the new disorder Patriotic Sex Syndrome. Victims of the disorder begin referring to various sexual acts using the names of famous battles.

What makes Eddie's case severe is his total reliance on war terminology. In addition to calling missionary sex 'The Patriot Act', "Eddie hasn't said the word 'sex' in over 6 months," explains Margaret, "it's always 'The Battle of the Bulge in My Pants', 'Operation Desert Sword' or 'Just Cause'. The latest is 'Operation Anaconda'. That's his code for oral sex. I pray for peace everyday."

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