Posted: Sun Dec 02 2001
Rate Your Patriotism

How much do you love your country? Enough to fight for it? Enough to buy war bonds? Enough to decorate your vehicle with little plastic flags?

During these troubling times, it's reassuring to know that John Q. Public is out there waving - and wearing - the flag. There are, however, varying degrees of patriotism. How do you measure up? Grade yourself by answering Yes or No to the following questions and summing the points:

Home:

1) Before 9/11, I owned a flag. (2 point)

2) Before 9/11, I displayed a flag on occasions outlined as flag days. (4 points)

3) I can name at least 3 annual flag days. (2 points)

4) Since 9/11, I purchased a flag. (1 point)

5) Since 9/11, I display a flag every day, weather-permitting. (2 points)

6) Since 9/11, I display a flag continuously, regardless of weather. (-3 points)

Personal:

1) I have spent good money on a pin made out of safety pins or clothes-pins. (1 point)

2) I wear red, white, and blue on all casual days at work. (2 point)

3) I wear red, white, and blue everyday, regardless of its appropriateness. (3 points)

4) My car and I are covered in so much red, white, and blue, I am camouflaged when driving. (4 points)

5) I have purchased all - and only - red, white, and blue decorations for this year's Christmas tree. (3 points)

6) I have started taking lessons on a Buck Owens replica guitar. (3 points)

Grading:

0: You should be ashamed! Go memorize the words to the Star Spangled Banner.

1 - 5: Patriotic. Pat yourself on the back.

6 - 10: Really Patriotic. Walk tall to show off those safety pins.

10 or more: Super-Duper-Ultra Patriotic. That's right, a new term has been coined to differentiate you from the run-of-the-mill patriots out there. You deserve a special title. Maybe the person who made your clothes-pin flag can laminate a name tag for you.

--Suzanne Fontannadanna