An OnlineNewspaper from
Overland Park, Kansas
Overland Park, Kansas
"The stories are real. Only the names, facts and events have been changed."
quaap.com | Main Page | World | U.S. | Local | Business | Sci-tech | Investigative | Entertainment | Lifestyles | Sports | Interviews | Editorials
Ground-breaking new comedian tells of humorous differences between blacks, whites.
Man-eating sharks kill people, everyone surprised.
Doctors describe Bush's health as 'bootilicious' after physical.
Kansas, Iowa threaten to leave Midwest peace talks.
Fan not adequately prepared to rock, concert delayed.
Man walks a mile in other's shoes, gets trench foot.
Current:
China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges
Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion
Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic"
Everybody's Just Too Sensitive
Mediocre Musician
Five New Religious Denominations Created
No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet
Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident
Posted: Wed Aug 22 2001
Woman Loses Jesus, Enlists The Help Of Others In Search.
Josephine Lowden recently misplaced her lord and savior. Realizing she could not find it on her own, she began asking people she met if they had found Jesus, and then would go on to describe it when they said that they hadn't.
Police officials admit that a Jesus getting lost is becoming a common event these days. "These Jesuses are slippery rascals, people are losing them all the time," warns a police spokesman, "and the last thing you want to do if you lose a Jesus is go around asking total strangers if they have found it. There's some real weirdoes out there: some of them may say that they have found it, and only later will you find out it's a different Jesus than the one you had."
Police advise anyone who lost a Jesus to look for it in a church, because, says the spokesman, "people in a church are more likely not to get so annoyed and pissed off when you ask if they have found it."
Woman Loses Jesus, Enlists The Help Of Others In Search.
Josephine Lowden recently misplaced her lord and savior. Realizing she could not find it on her own, she began asking people she met if they had found Jesus, and then would go on to describe it when they said that they hadn't.
Police officials admit that a Jesus getting lost is becoming a common event these days. "These Jesuses are slippery rascals, people are losing them all the time," warns a police spokesman, "and the last thing you want to do if you lose a Jesus is go around asking total strangers if they have found it. There's some real weirdoes out there: some of them may say that they have found it, and only later will you find out it's a different Jesus than the one you had."
Police advise anyone who lost a Jesus to look for it in a church, because, says the spokesman, "people in a church are more likely not to get so annoyed and pissed off when you ask if they have found it."
Tweet
Current:
Oct 27 2002Past Issues:
Sep 29 2002Sep 2 2002
Aug 11 2002
Jul 22 2002
Jun 30 2002
Jun 24 2002
May 29 2002
May 25 2002
May 19 2002
Apr 14 2002
Mar 10 2002
Feb 24 2002
Feb 10 2002
Jan 27 2002
Jan 14 2002
Dec 31 2001
Dec 2 2001
Nov 19 2001
Nov 4 2001
Oct 28 2001
Oct 13 2001
Oct 4 2001
Sep 26 2001
Sep 10 2001
Aug 23 2001
Aug 14 2001
Jul 31 2001
Jul 15 2001
June 2001
May 2001
Email this page
quaap.com
Privacy
Contacts
Schemes:
The OnlineNewspaper Gazette.
All text © Copyright 2001-2004 Thamus.org, 2005 quaap.com.
This is a parody and satire site: it's fake. This site contains no real facts or information. If you think you found a fact, you are mistaken. Never believe anything you read in onlinenewspapers.
All non-public names are invented: Any resemblance to actual people may be considered "freaky", but is purely coincidental.*
If you are not at least 18, please try not to understand anything you read.
*Disclaimer © 2001-2002 Thamus.org, quaap.com.