Posted: Fri Jul 20 2001
Correlation Between SUVs, Penis Size

Researchers at Boston University's Motophallus laboratory have released a shocking report.

"We've all heard the stories about how men who by buy big, fast, and expensive vehicles are also known for being 'under-endowed'," says Harry Manmeat, chief researcher at the lab, "but this is the first time anyone has bothered to test it."

The controversial results, summarized by the charts below, were collected by randomly stopping motorists and noting the vehicle's make and model, and then paying the driver to let the researchers measure his penis.

"You'd be surprised how many truck and SUV drivers wouldn't do it, but most of the Geo drivers didn't even take the money, they called it 'free advertising'. I think the most amazing thing about these results is that, for the first time, we can see a causal link between vehicles like these and the people who drive them," says Manmeat, "well about their penises anyway. I think it's obvious to most everyone that these overpowered, high priced vehicles are shrinking these men's penises."