Bush Fights Evil In Thighs, Buttocks: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Posted: Mon Jun 24 2002
Bush Fights Evil In Thighs, Buttocks

If you're not in shape, you may be supporting terrorism. That's the message of President Bush's latest addition to the Homeland Defense effort, the Fitness Brigade.

"There may be evil lurking in the expanded thighs and bulbous buttocks of Americans. There may be complacency in our tummy areas and sunken chests," said Bush before his weekly three mile run. "Our flabby arms may be giving shelter to our enemies, and comfort to those who support them. We must remain vigilant."

To help support his plan, Bush asked all Americans to defend the homeland by trimming down their backends, and asked Congress to quickly pass a number of bills including The Fitness Act, The Patriot Fitness Act, and The Patriotic Fitness Act Of All God-Fearing Loyal Americans.

"I hope these bills can become law quickly and without too many people reading them too closely," said Bush.

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