WTC Attacked! US At War!: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Posted: Sun Oct 28 2001
WTC Attacked! US At War!

This exclusive OnlineNewspaper Gazette story comes after learning that sharks still live in the Atlantic Ocean and the Chandra Levy is still missing.

Returning from my extended stay in Florida causing, I mean covering, the latest news on shark attack victims, this reporter has learned that terrorists have hijacked four planes, two of which were crashed into the WTC, another into the Pentagon, and another somewhere in Pennsylvania nobody cares about. More shocking yet, in the wake of all this, anthrax containing letters are apparently being mailed to high profile government officials and media members. This story threatens to do away with an assumed alliance entered into by reporters over the summer to only cover stories containing sharks and/or Chandra Levy. This reporter proposes a compromise: stop going after Osama bin Laden, and concentrate on the real victims/culprits here - the sharks.

--Chris Famunda

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