An OnlineNewspaper from
Overland Park, Kansas
The OnlineNewspaper Gazette
"The stories are real. Only the names, facts and events have been changed."
quaap.com | Main Page | World | U.S. | Local | Business | Sci-tech | Investigative | Entertainment | Lifestyles | Sports | Interviews | Editorials
Posted: Thu Aug 9 2001
Baby Seals Applaud Fur Ban, Clubbed

"We thought they were the band, but then they just started clubbing."

A court ruling yesterday banned the long popular practice of clubbing baby seals for their fur. Baby seals the world over celebrated the decision, only to have their celebration cut short by seal clubbers. A small resistance movement was quickly organized by the seals, resulting in the immediate clubbing of not only the organizers, but other seals as well.

This court decision is still extremely controversial, as neither side is happy with the result: the clubbers with the clubbing ban or the seals with the subsequent clubbing. In order to prove their point that yes, they can still club even with the clubbing ban in place, the clubbers did what they do best, club.














 




The OnlineNewspaper Gazette.
All text © Copyright 2001-2004 Thamus.org, 2005 quaap.com.
This is a parody and satire site: it's fake. This site contains no real facts or information. If you think you found a fact, you are mistaken. Never believe anything you read in onlinenewspapers.
All non-public names are invented: Any resemblance to actual people may be considered "freaky", but is purely coincidental.*

If you are not at least 18, please try not to understand anything you read.

*Disclaimer © 2001-2002 Thamus.org, quaap.com.