Robertson/Graham Ticket To Oppose God In Next Election: The OnlineNewspaper Gazette/ONG/quaap.com

Posted: Sat Oct 13 2001
Robertson/Graham Ticket To Oppose God In Next Election

Pat Robertson and Billy Graham announced today that they will run against God for his position, on the platform "it's about damn time." The announcement comes in the wake of the September 11 attacks, which were facilitated by the incumbent God as a warning to heathens, gays, and Jews.

"God has been quiet for a while, now he finally did something to remind us of the wicked ways of this country. This should have occurred a long time ago. When I am God, I intend to be much more proactive," says Robertson.

Among the more controversial aspects of Robertson's campaign is the 'burn in hell California and New York City' campaign, that will probably receive little support in the West. "I don't want to come across as an angry God," says Robertson, "I just want people to know that I do intend to destroy most of the liberal bastards."

--Chris Famunda

An OnlineNewspaper from Overland Park, Kansas "The stories are real. Only the names, facts and events have been changed." quaap.com \| Main Page \| World \| U.S. \| Local \| Business \| Sci-tech \| Investigative \| Entertainment \| Lifestyles \| Sports \| Interviews \| Editorials
Next Issue: Stephen King, Clive Barker Concerned Anti-Terror Bill is Too Broad Terrorist Dies After Licking Anthrax Letter Amtrak accused of sounding to much like disease Drug dealer arrested after reporting a "white powdery substance" Newspapers deny accusations of fear mongering We're all going to die! Anthrax, Anthrax, Anthrax, Anthrax, Anthrax! Current: China Explodes In Nuclear Fireball, Snipers Face Uncertain Charges Not A Lot Of Eye Contact At Andes Crash Survivors Reunion Cow Shit Found To Be "100% Organic" Everybody's Just Too Sensitive Mediocre Musician Five New Religious Denominations Created No One Talking About Failed Wonder Diet Offbeat: Man Dies In Humorous, Painful Accident	Posted: Sat Oct 13 2001 Robertson/Graham Ticket To Oppose God In Next Election Pat Robertson and Billy Graham announced today that they will run against God for his position, on the platform "it's about damn time." The announcement comes in the wake of the September 11 attacks, which were facilitated by the incumbent God as a warning to heathens, gays, and Jews. "God has been quiet for a while, now he finally did something to remind us of the wicked ways of this country. This should have occurred a long time ago. When I am God, I intend to be much more proactive," says Robertson. Among the more controversial aspects of Robertson's campaign is the 'burn in hell California and New York City' campaign, that will probably receive little support in the West. "I don't want to come across as an angry God," says Robertson, "I just want people to know that I do intend to destroy most of the liberal bastards." --Chris Famunda Tweet	New Content Current: Oct 27 2002 Past Issues: Sep 29 2002 Sep 2 2002 Aug 11 2002 Jul 22 2002 Jun 30 2002 Jun 24 2002 May 29 2002 May 25 2002 May 19 2002 Apr 14 2002 Mar 10 2002 Feb 24 2002 Feb 10 2002 Jan 27 2002 Jan 14 2002 Dec 31 2001 Dec 2 2001 Nov 19 2001 Nov 4 2001 Oct 28 2001 Oct 13 2001 Oct 4 2001 Sep 26 2001 Sep 10 2001 Aug 23 2001 Aug 14 2001 Jul 31 2001 Jul 15 2001 June 2001 May 2001 Email this page quaap.com Privacy Contacts Schemes: Classic: B&W: Blue: DarkBlue: Red: DarkRed: Green: DarkGreen: Violet: DarkViolet:
	The OnlineNewspaper Gazette. All text © Copyright 2001-2004 Thamus.org, 2005 quaap.com. This is a parody and satire site: it's fake. This site contains no real facts or information. If you think you found a fact, you are mistaken. Never believe anything you read in onlinenewspapers. All non-public names are invented: Any resemblance to actual people may be considered "freaky", but is purely coincidental.* If you are not at least 18, please try not to understand anything you read. *Disclaimer © 2001-2002 Thamus.org, quaap.com.