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Adventures of a stay-at-home, skeptical, homeschooling dad (etc.)


The health benefits of…

Walk through any grocery store and you'll see thousands of products shouting their dubious health benefits at you in bold face type and lots of exclamation points. With the jars of peanuts labeled "gluten free", frozen chicken nuggets labeled "good source of protein", coconut oil with a "trans-fat free" sticker, and everything labeled "all natural", it's easy to become cynical… but, no more! I have a great product that's pretty darn awesome. Have you considered the health benefits of…

… my dick?

Let's review:

  • All natural.
  • Low carb.
  • Gluten-free.
  • Paleo!
  • Cage-free (if you know what I mean).
  • Good source of protein.
  • Antioxidant rich.
  • Contains electrolytes.
  • Potassium!
  • Rich in Omega-3 fatty acids.
  • Naturally occurring mood enhancers!
  • Organic.
  • Wheat-free.
  • Dairy-free.
  • Raw!
  • No artificial preservatives.
  • No artificial colors.
  • No GMOs!
  • No trans-fats.
  • No MSG!
  • No refined carbohydrates.
  • No peanuts.
  • No soy.
  • No rBST or other artificial growth hormones.
  • No sub-therapeutic antibiotics.
  • No high fructose corn syrup.

All this and only 5 calories a serving!

Amazing! Right?!

With a minimum of effort (trust me on this), you can gain all these wonderful benefits each day! Twice a day most days!

You'd be stupid not to try it! Do you really want to take the chance with your health?

My dick is not for everyone. Check with your doctor to find out if my dick is right for you (seriously, I'll need to see those test results). My dick has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (at least not officially). My dick is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.