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Night of keeping up with the kids

Back when I had cable, about once every few weeks I'd put it on MTV2 or Fuse and watch the top video countdown. It was one way I tried not losing complete touch with "kids today". Since I ditched cable, I am left with listening to the local alternative radio station. So I'm not at a complete loss, but there are many pop songs people talk about which I have never heard. So, in an attempt to keep with the times, I decided that I'd start watching the top music videos on Youtube. I grabbed a few double-shots of bourbon (neat, just how the kids like to do it) and got to watching…

1, Call Me Maybe

by Carly Rae Jepsen

http://img.youtube.com/vi/fWNaR-rxAic/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic

I've actually not heard this very often, so the "fun" has not completely left, but it's not a, uh, great song.


2, Payphone (Lyric Video) ft. Wiz Khalifa

by Maroon 5

http://img.youtube.com/vi/5FlQSQuv_mg/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FlQSQuv_mg

Sounds like huge number of other pop songs, but with cursing and a rap verse.


3, Boyfriend

by Justin Bieber

http://img.youtube.com/vi/4GuqB1BQVr4/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GuqB1BQVr4

Least bad "Bad Boy". Ever.


4, What Makes You Beautiful

by One Direction

http://img.youtube.com/vi/QJO3ROT-A4E/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJO3ROT-A4E

"Surely this song get me laid, right?" -Every member of the band


5, Wide Awake

by Katy Perry

http://img.youtube.com/vi/k0BWlvnBmIE/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0BWlvnBmIE

I kinda like Katy Perry, but this is a very bland pop blender song.


6, Dance Again ft. Pitbull

by Pitbull

http://img.youtube.com/vi/bjgFH01k0gU/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjgFH01k0gU

How can they manage to make a ceiling orgy boring?


7, Somebody That I Used to Know

by Gotye

http://img.youtube.com/vi/8UVNT4wvIGY/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

This is still good song, even though I've heard it 500 times.


8, One Thing

by One Direction

http://img.youtube.com/vi/Y1xs_xPb46M/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1xs_xPb46M

The Monkees homages help, but it's still "not good".


9, Good Time

by Owl City

http://img.youtube.com/vi/H7HmzwI67ec/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7HmzwI67ec

I like Owl City, despite the autotune use. This song… not so much. Very fake: he should be melancholy.


10, We Are Young ft. Janelle Monáe

by Fun.

http://img.youtube.com/vi/Sv6dMFF_yts/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv6dMFF_yts

I've heard the song many times. A good song, but it's wearing thin. The video's slow-motion random fights help.


11, Where Have You Been

by Rihanna

http://img.youtube.com/vi/HBxt_v0WF6Y/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBxt_v0WF6Y

Not a bad song for what it is. I like the electronic snarls. But can't stop imagining Johnny Cash because of the "I've been everywhere, man" part. I can't help imagine Johnny Cash Slithering around in a nearly non-existent bikini top. That interferes with the appreciation of the boobies.


12, Ai Se Eu Te Pego

by Michel Teló

http://img.youtube.com/vi/hcm55lU9knw/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcm55lU9knw

Is he selling me a slap-chop? I see "douchebag" is the same in any language.


13, My Homies Still

by Lil Wayne

http://img.youtube.com/vi/E_yVRZMFbLc/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_yVRZMFbLc

I have a purple elephant: Your argument is invalid. Looks like it wants me to want to be high, but it's not working. Lil Wayne is not as sexy as he thinks.


14, Don't Wake Me Up

by Chris Brown

http://img.youtube.com/vi/QOowQeKyNkQ/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOowQeKyNkQ

I want to strangle him with his own Autotuner.


15 Gangnam Style (강남스타일) M/V

by Psy

http://img.youtube.com/vi/9bZkp7q19f0/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0

This is what the Lil Wayne video wanted to be: It actually makes me want to get high.


16, ¡Corre!

by Jesse & Joy

http://img.youtube.com/vi/P2hM9CLAMu4/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2hM9CLAMu4

Uh oh, guy in a Fedora: please don't let it be Jason Mraz. Whew.

Sleeeeepy music. Not mixing well with the bourbon. Sounds like closing time at the rural bar, etc. Bleh… Got crappy real fast. Moral of the video: Don't gamble, kids.


17, Wild Ones ft. Sia [Official Video]

by Flo Rida

http://img.youtube.com/vi/bpOR_HuHRNs/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOR_HuHRNs

Every "I'm rich" rap video ever, but with a swamp. Brand-name labels. Rap portion much better than singing portion.


18, Someone Like You

by Adele

http://img.youtube.com/vi/hLQl3WQQoQ0/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0

This was the Adele song I ever heard (last year some time?). Maybe I shouldn't but I like this a lot. Incredible song.


19, On the Floor ft. Pitbull

by Jennifer Lopez

http://img.youtube.com/vi/t4H_Zoh7G5A/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4H_Zoh7G5A

Back it up like a Tonka truck? Really. More brand-name labels. Extremely boring, unimaginative song.


20, Mercy

by Kanye West

http://img.youtube.com/vi/dTI0KDuQl_4/0.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTI0KDuQl_4

No words to describe my total lack of enjoyment.



So there it is. Not a bad first run. As long as the bourbon dulls my senses enough to handle the pop-onslaught, maybe I'll invest an evening every once in a while to this task.

2012-08-02
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