Night of keeping up with the kids
Back when I had cable, about once every few weeks I'd put it on MTV2 or Fuse and watch the top video countdown. It was one way I tried not losing complete touch with "kids today". Since I ditched cable, I am left with listening to the local alternative radio station. So I'm not at a complete loss, but there are many pop songs people talk about which I have never heard. So, in an attempt to keep with the times, I decided that I'd start watching the top music videos on Youtube. I grabbed a few double-shots of bourbon (neat, just how the kids like to do it) and got to watching…
1, Call Me Maybe
by Carly Rae Jepsen
I've actually not heard this very often, so the "fun" has not completely left, but it's not a, uh, great song.
2, Payphone (Lyric Video) ft. Wiz Khalifa
by Maroon 5
Sounds like huge number of other pop songs, but with cursing and a rap verse.
by Justin Bieber
Least bad "Bad Boy". Ever.
4, What Makes You Beautiful
by One Direction
"Surely this song get me laid, right?" -Every member of the band
5, Wide Awake
by Katy Perry
I kinda like Katy Perry, but this is a very bland pop blender song.
6, Dance Again ft. Pitbull
How can they manage to make a ceiling orgy boring?
7, Somebody That I Used to Know
This is still good song, even though I've heard it 500 times.
8, One Thing
by One Direction
The Monkees homages help, but it's still "not good".
9, Good Time
by Owl City
I like Owl City, despite the autotune use. This song… not so much. Very fake: he should be melancholy.
10, We Are Young ft. Janelle Monáe
I've heard the song many times. A good song, but it's wearing thin. The video's slow-motion random fights help.
11, Where Have You Been
Not a bad song for what it is. I like the electronic snarls. But can't stop imagining Johnny Cash because of the "I've been everywhere, man" part. I can't help imagine Johnny Cash Slithering around in a nearly non-existent bikini top. That interferes with the appreciation of the boobies.
12, Ai Se Eu Te Pego
by Michel Teló
Is he selling me a slap-chop? I see "douchebag" is the same in any language.
13, My Homies Still
by Lil Wayne
I have a purple elephant: Your argument is invalid. Looks like it wants me to want to be high, but it's not working. Lil Wayne is not as sexy as he thinks.
14, Don't Wake Me Up
by Chris Brown
I want to strangle him with his own Autotuner.
15 Gangnam Style (강남스타일) M/V
This is what the Lil Wayne video wanted to be: It actually makes me want to get high.
by Jesse & Joy
Uh oh, guy in a Fedora: please don't let it be Jason Mraz. Whew.
Sleeeeepy music. Not mixing well with the bourbon. Sounds like closing time at the rural bar, etc. Bleh… Got crappy real fast. Moral of the video: Don't gamble, kids.
17, Wild Ones ft. Sia [Official Video]
by Flo Rida
Every "I'm rich" rap video ever, but with a swamp. Brand-name labels. Rap portion much better than singing portion.
18, Someone Like You
This was the Adele song I ever heard (last year some time?). Maybe I shouldn't but I like this a lot. Incredible song.
19, On the Floor ft. Pitbull
by Jennifer Lopez
Back it up like a Tonka truck? Really. More brand-name labels. Extremely boring, unimaginative song.
by Kanye West
No words to describe my total lack of enjoyment.
So there it is. Not a bad first run. As long as the bourbon dulls my senses enough to handle the pop-onslaught, maybe I'll invest an evening every once in a while to this task.